12 December 2012

The TARDIS Holiday Gift Guide 2012: Part One

I love buying Christmas presents and wrapping them up all nice and pretty. I love making gift baskets full of treats. I'm a total Christmas nerd at heart. The only caveat is that I have no money and little time these days. So I have put these gift baskets and ideas together for you to give people because I'm broke and cannot do so myself. 

Today's recipient is:

Your Lovable Doomsday Survivalist:

Whether it's the Mayans, The Gub'mint, or (s)he is simply a little too into the Walking Dead, here are some prepper packages to give them a false sense of safety for a little while longer:

Freeze dried rations buckets. When Costco is selling them, you know it's pretty trendy.

Of course, there is always survival books, too, depending on what style of apocalypse they're into, be it New World Order, the undead or the singularity. Hell, give them a dollar store Bible if they're into the old-fashioned four horsemen. 

This is expensive, but way cool. The life saver bottle filters out ALL bacteria and viruses, cysts, parasites and fungi from water, turning non potable nasty stuff into clean drinking water. It can even filter your own pee. The British military uses it and it has been independently tested to work 100%. Even if the world isn't ending, this bottle would be invaluable on camping excursions or trips.
Another good idea under $50 would be a hand crank radio. These keep you in touch with important information in the event of a disaster. In this era of climate change and nasty storms, it would be a good thing to have on hand for the next hurricane. 

Stuff their stockings with:
Solar powered flashlights, first aid kits, and sporting goods stores gift certificates.

The end of the world fad will be over soon enough. But unfortunately climate change will be unpredictable. In all seriousness, I included these specific gifts because they would be useful in a nasty storm, power outage or even a local boil order on the water supply. 

I would avoid useless things that assume we are about to be blasted into the stone age, like grain mills and endless shelves of MREs. Unless your prepper is already a huntsman or woman, and lives in a secluded rural setting, the apocalyptic fantasy gear is unnecessary. It's gong to become a coat rack, like last years elliptical machine. Y'all ain't Rick Grimes. If the dead rise, or we find ourselves knee-deep in the ash of a nuclear winter, the only gift you could hope to receive is death.

...But I'm pretty sure it won't come to that. 

Merry Christmas, Doomsday Preppers!

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