Todd Akin is a Legitimate Asshole

As everyone knows by now, Todd Akin, the Missouri GOP Senate nominee, who also wants to abolish federally sponsored free lunch programs for impoverished school children, has recently made an incredibly horrific and stupid statement:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors, [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down," Akin said. 

What does anyone with a brain think to say to that except perhaps Todd attended the same schools as Bill "can't explain the tides" O'Reilly? Could you imagine that Sex Ed class? "Not only can you tell if a woman is a witch by burning her, but real rapes don't result in pregnancies." (facepalm)  Mr. Akin, any time a woman is ovulating, whether she wants to or not, she can get pregnant. The egg does not have the foresight to reject a rapists sperm. And sadly, the vagina does not have a defense mechanism to incapacitate an unwanted penis, either. (Though if anyone wants to invent a real a Neal Stephenson-style dentata, feel free to get on that. If we can carry assault weapons, why not a snuke in our snizz?) The complete absurdity and ignorance of basic - and I do mean BASIC - human reproductive biology upsets me far more than the abortion argument. It either means he is functionally retarded or he's purposefully lying and spreading misinformation to promote his agenda. 

Anti-abortion activists are laying it on thick these days, trying to smear the pill, saying it is killing and sterilizing women, and how birth control leads to abortions due to it's failure resulting in unplanned pregnancies for which abortion is the failsafe. They say Planned Parenthood's goal is for every woman to have an average of three abortions in her lifetime so they can keep that sweet baby-murderin' money rolling, and all other manner of myth and misinformation to try and convince the country that abortion isn't just wrong in their eyes, but preventing pregnancy in general is evil all over. I have even been in forums where women have said to get an abortion if the fetus put a mother's life in peril is akin to taking one of your living children and murdering them. Wouldn't you die for your children? Why would you die for one but not another? 

And let me say something here. I get their position. I do. Believe it or not, I understand and even respect how they feel about the unborn. To be honest if you want to wait around and die because something went wrong during the gestation process, that's your choice. But you cannot force me to die as well. Although I understand where Todd Akin is coming from when he says "punish the rapist, not the child," he's missing an important person in this equation: the victim. 

I'm not sure if he really thinks that slutty bitches be lyin', or that on Planet Fantasyland Earth, God has designed women so perfectly that they cannot truly conceive a child out of rape. I don't know if he's another idiot trying to promote bans on all abortion because he believes sex is not a built-in biological, physiological and psychological need, but a gift from God ONLY to be partaken between married heterosexual couples who wish to have children. Is he another one of the fundamentalists who believe any sexual act outside of marriage, (including masturbation) is forbidden and he must smoke out all the corners that allow human beings to have sex or sexual experiences without the consequence of pregnancy so he can bring us all (kicking and screaming) closer to the society he wishes to live in?

I don't know, but that society, the one where God waves his hand to bring in the tides every day and virtuous virgins cannot be defiled, does not resemble reality. Nor does saying that terrified women who could only eek out a few sobs instead of screaming "NO!" or who were too drugged to inform their attacker(s) "I do not wish for your penis(es) to enter any of my orifices" aren't legitimate cases. I would also like Todd to personally tell a 13 year old girl who was impregnated by her father that the baby growing inside of her is a gift and she'd be a bad girl indeed for wishing it away. The rhetoric is easy. The reality, not so much. 

No matter what your personal beliefs are in regards to abortion, we cannot have policymakers representing us who do not have a grasp on the most basic and fundamental scientific facts that pertain to the real world around us. You want to say abortion is always wrong no matter what? Go ahead. But do not insinuate any woman who became pregnant by rape, secretly wanted it, or may you sir, get raped. And when you don't get pregnant we'll all call you a slut.

And maybe burn you for being a witch.